Many people tend to treat themselves with harsh judgment rather than compassion.

Why is this important? Because self-compassion helps us recognize our unconditional worth and value. It allows us to recognize that though we may sometimes make bad decisions, we’re not bad people.

Research over the past decade has highlighted the strong connection between self-care and psychological well-being. People who practice self-compassion tend to have better relationships, report greater happiness, and experience higher overall life satisfaction. Additionally, self-compassion is linked to lower levels of shame, anxiety, and depression.

Now that you know the what and why of self-compassion, let’s look at the how.

How to Practice Self-Compassion

Treat Yourself as You Would a Small Child

You would never harshly judge or belittle a small child as you might do to yourself. Instead, you would want to help and love that child. By treating yourself as you would a small child, you start to extend the same love, gentleness, and kindness to yourself.

Practice Mindfulness

Every minute, your mind processes millions of bits of information, even though you’re consciously aware of only a few. In other words, we all have scripts or programs running in our minds 24/7. These scripts and programs influence our behavior and guide our decisions, often without us even realizing it.

Some of these scripts are the ones that tell us how “bad” or “unlovable” we are. They’ve been running since we were kids. The way to quiet these scripts is to become more mindful of your own mind.

When you begin to have a feeling or reaction to something, stop and ask yourself WHO is feeling that? Is it the compassionate self or the program running? If it’s the program, thank the program for what it has done and release it.

Good Will vs Good Feelings

Self-compassion is a conscious act of kindness we show ourselves; it’s not a way to alleviate emotional pain. Life happens, and we can’t always avoid negative or sad feelings. Never mistake self-compassion as a tool to ignore your deep and rich emotional life.

These are just a few ways you can begin to cultivate self-compassion. If you’d like to explore more options or talk to someone about your feelings of self-rejection and judgement, please get in touch with me. I’d be happy to discuss how I may help.